Paris Hilton is opening up about her past like never before.
The 37-year-old hotel heiress is one of the subjects of Bert Marcus’ new documentary, The American Meme, which sheds a light on social media stars like Hilton, Josh “The Fat Jew” Ostrovsky and Brittany Furlan, among others.
Inside the film, Hilton recounts her rise to fame, including The Simple Life, her reality show with Nicole Richie, and her sex tape with former boyfriend Rick Salomon, which was leaked in 2004.
“It was like being raped,” Hilton says of the sex tape’s aftermath in the documentary, according to USA Today. “It felt like I’d lost part of my soul and been talked about in such cruel and mean ways. I literally wanted to die at some points. I was like, ‘I just don’t want to live,’ because I thought everything was taken away from me. I didn’t want to be known as that.”
In a panel after the screening, the former reality star said she wanted to participate in Marcus’ documentary in order to show audiences a new side of herself.
“I felt like the world was introduced to me through The Simple Life,” she shared. “There was no reality television back then, so it was very new. There was no social media, so I basically created this character that was basically what I thought the audience wanted, like, ‘Oh, she’s rich, so she needs to be a spoiled airhead’ — basically what the producers told me to do.”
“When Bert told me about this film, he basically said, ‘Paris, you’re the O.G. of all this,'” she explained. “I really trusted him and was very vulnerable about things I had never spoken about before and basically just wanted to show the real me, because I don’t think I ever have before.”
Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Bert Marcus Productions
Hilton is now engaged to actor Chris Zylka, who she called “the man of my dreams who I know will never hurt me or betray me.”
“I’m very excited for the next phase of my life and to start a family and find true happiness,” she expressed. “Because, yes, this is so much fun. I love what I’m doing — it’s great being in Ibiza every summer DJing until eight in the morning — but sometimes it gets a little tiring.”
“I’m still going to continue being the girl boss I am, but I’m also going to be a mom, and I can’t wait for that day,” she added.
Hilton and Zylka gushed about their upcoming wedding while speaking with ET last month. Watch below.
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