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‘Secretary of Evil’
Dr. Evil made a surprise appearance on “The Tonight Show” on Wednesday to talk about — what else? — the Trump administration.
Jimmy Fallon announced that he’d just heard about a White House firing that wasn’t yet reported in the news. Then in came Dr. Evil, the famous “Austin Powers” character played by Mike Myers, Fallon’s guest on that evening’s show.
JIMMY FALLON: I’ve got to say, I had no idea you were part of the Trump administration. What exactly did you do there?
DR. EVIL: Well naturally, I was going to be secretary of evil. But Steve Bannon got that job.
Dr. Evil said he was “more of an ideas guy,” and he was the one who first thought to build a wall on the United States-Mexico border. Then he clarified, in typical Dr. Evil fashion: “I wanted it to be a moat, filled with spiky blowfish.”
He took some backhanded swipes at Trump’s immigration policy, and at Ben Carson, the secretary of housing.
DR. EVIL: All the most evil stuff was me.
FALLON: Even deporting Dreamers?
DR. EVIL: No, Jimmy, even I have my limits. I’m evil, but I’m not a monster.
FALLON: That’s good to know. Did you at least make any friends at the job?
DR. EVIL: Well, I got along swimmingly with Ben Carson.
FALLON: And why is that?
DR. EVIL: We were both evil doctors who didn’t know why we were there.
Dr. Evil ended the segment by declaring his own candidacy for president. He said he’d be running under the campaign slogan “Make the World Evil Again,” and that his running mate would be “the only man who’s more hated right now than Donald Trump”: Mark Zuckerberg.
What Meyers Doesn’t Want to Discuss
On “Late Night,” Seth Meyers delved into Trump’s attacks on Amazon, his increasingly aggressive patrol policies on the southern border, and his habit of calling babies losers. But before all that, Meyers declared there was one Trump-related topic that he has no interest in.
“Stormy Daniels’s lawyer says she can describe the president’s genitalia in great detail, and now everybody wants her to sign a nondisclosure agreement.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punch Lines (Pokémon Edition)
“Ratings for ABC’s ‘American Idol’ hit a new low this week. You can tell it’s struggling because ‘American Idol’ just got asked to appear on ‘Dancing With the Stars.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“The makers of Pokémon Go have announced that they will use the app to reward players for walking around and picking up garbage on Earth Day. While the makers of Tinder have always encouraged people to pick up garbage.” — SETH MEYERS
“A manager at a Sonic restaurant in Mississippi recently posted a message asking customers not to smoke weed in the drive-through. Meanwhile, Taco Bell offered them a light.” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
John Cena has an important message to deliver on a topic of great salience to the public’s well-being.
ASAP Rocky didn’t just perform a couple of songs on “The Tonight Show.” He transformed the show’s set, and made the performance feel almost like a full-on music video, replete with low-key special effects.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Seth Rogen, who recently made his own headlines in the Stormy Daniels saga, will talk to Kimmel on Thursday.
Also, Check This Out
Here’s what’s coming up on TV Thursday. Read on for previews of the day’s episodes, and ideas for what to stream on the web.
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