CHELSEA IN FOR LASCELLES
It’s a rumour that we’ve heard plenty of times before. Ever since Newcastle were promoted back to the Premier League, Chelsea have been credited with interest in Jamaal Lascelles. With the summer approaching, and Gary Cahill and David Luiz moved out of the first-team picture, there’s clearly space for another central defender.
The Sunday Mirror say that Chelsea will make a £30m move for Lascelles. You’d have to suspect that Newcastle might accept that offer, particularly if Mike Ashley is still at the helm. You’d also have to suspect it might p*ss off Rafa Benitez if they did.
‘[Lascelles has] impressed on and off the pitch – qualities which have led Chelsea’s transfer recruitment team to compare him with Terry,’ the piece reads.
If Terry impressed off the pitch, the standards expected of Lascelles really are very low.
OH, AND POCHETTINO TOO
‘Chelsea make Tottenham boss Mauricio Pochettino number one target to replace Antonio Conte,’ is the headline on The Sun’s website on Sunday morning. It’s clever timing with the two teams meeting on Sunday. Good for the SEO, that.
Duncan Wright writes that Chelsea make Pochettino their No. 1 choice to replace Antonio Conte, but you have to ask whether Chelsea is really a step up from Tottenham at the moment. He has a great thing going on there, may well finish above Chelsea in the Premier League, and knows that patience is in short supply at Stamford Bridge.
JUST GIMME DE LIGT
Just gimme the light and pass the dro.
Buss anotha bokkle a moe.
Gal dem inna mi sight and I got to know.
Which one is gonna catch my flow.
‘Cause I’m inna di vibe and I got my dough.
Buss anotha bokkle a moe.
Gal dem lookin’ hype and I got to know.
Yeah, Arsenal want Ajax defender Matthijs de Ligt. So sorry about that.
MORE CASTLES/MOURINHO TRANSFER STUFF
Roll up, roll up. For we have the latest leaks from Jose Mourinho’s camp thanks to his lickspittle Duncan Castles. Castles writes in the Sunday Times that Manchester United are planning to buy an entirely new defence this summer in a bid to overhaul the squad. Which is absolutely sodding ridiculous.
The two names that Castles mentions are Alex Sandro, who would cost £50m from Juventus, and Samuel Umtiti, who has a £52.8m release clause at Barcelona. So, do we expect a title challenge if Mourinho has bought four of the six most expensive players in Premier League history by August?
‘It is 28 years since Tottenham last won a game over in West London, a period which has seen five different presidents of the United States,’ the story reads. What a wonderful non-sequitur.
MORATA BACK TO REAL MADRID
We have little doubt that Alvaro Morata might jump at the chance to re-join Real Madrid for the third time in his career. His first season in England has gone very sour indeed.
But it’s fair to say that the Daily Express’ story claiming such a move is on is a little light on detail. It includes the memorable line ‘…but Real could want to sign him for a third time’.
‘Could want to’? So they don’t want to yet, but they might change their minds? Well then it’s definitely happening.
‘Bought to replace Diego Costa he has struggled for fitness because of as (sic) long standing (sic) back injury which at one stage looked like ending his season early,’ the piece says. It reads like it was written by a child. Does nobody use commas anymore?
AND THE REST
Manager Alan Pardew could stay at West Brom even if they are relegated (and they will be)… Crystal Palace have put Everton’s Ademola Lookman on top of their list to replace Wilfried Zaha if he leaves the club… Arsenal have reportedly made an offer to bring in Real Madrid goalkeeper Keylor Navas… Adam Lallana’s dream of going to the World Cup is in the balance.
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