A teen at the Boys & Girls Club of Alameda was asked the following question: “Why do you think people gossip about others, and how do you handle when people try to gossip with you or about you?” Here is her answer:
I think people gossip because they can be jealous of what others have or how they carry themselves. I believe that they feel like if they gossip, it will make them feel better about themselves because they would feel like they are bigger than that person because they are talking about them and spreading rumors.
People might also gossip to try to impress others. They might believe that if they start rumors and pretend they have a lot of information, people might start to like them. Maybe they have a crush on someone and gossip to get their attention.
When people try to gossip with me, I do sometimes listen but also take a step back. I don’t tell other people what someone said about them because it is not my place to tell because if someone was spreading information about me, I wouldn’t like it if everyone knew. Sometimes I will tell the gossiper that the material is not true or say something that shows I’m not for listening to it.
If someone says something to my face, I try my best to change their mind. I tell them it’s not true or that I don’t like it being talked about. If the gossiping continues about me, I tell them more seriously to stop because I’ve already asked them nicely to stop and given them a chance. This usually causes them to apologize.
Different from gossiping, it is OK to have a friend group where you joke around with each other. This is because it is OK if you have inside jokes and are just playing around with each other. What makes it not OK is when someone is not there — this is when it becomes gossiping.
— Siyah, age 13
The Voices of the Future column is written by teen members of the Boys & Girls Club of Alameda. Visit the group online at alamedabgc.org.
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