Earlier today Donald Trump, an actual president, announced that he was officially pardoning Dinesh D’Souza, a far right activist and troll who’s also a filmmaker in the way that Rush Limbaugh can technically be called an author. In 2014 D’Souza pleaded guilty to making illegal campaign contributions to the failed Senatorial campaign of New York Republican Wendy Long; he was sentenced to eight months in a halfway house and five years of probation for the felony, and ever since has gone on about how unfairly he was treated for a crime he admitted to committing.
The far right, including Trump, act like D’Souza was railroaded for his political beliefs, despite being caught red-handed in illegal voting shenanigans not that different from the ones that Republicans are supposedly so concerned about that they constantly try to make voting harder for most people. If you’ve followed D’Souza’s career you know that he’s just the dullest kind of partisan hack—one without even the terrible sense of humor or weirdly enraging anti-charisma of a Sean Hannity or Ann Coulter. He’s just a boring asshole with open contempt for anybody who has ever disagreed with whatever kind of extremism the far right is peddling at the moment, from presidents to entertainers to (yes) high school shooting survivors.
Here’s a short list of some of D’Souza’s recent hit jobs:
The past year, Dinesh D’Souza has:
—Suggested the Charlottesville rally was staged
—Shared a meme calling Obama a “gay Muslim”
—Suggested Michelle Obama is a man
—Started a conspiracy theory about the Vegas shooting
—Defended Adolf Hitler as “NOT anti-gay”https://t.co/YqI4oO2L5r— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast) May 31, 2018
And that’s just in the last year. D’Souza’s been a con man and a corrupt partisan hack as long as he’s been a public figure, and Trump pardoning him is basically just a signal to Trump’s cronies that he’ll pardon them, too, when the time comes. It’s absolutely not funny that Trump pardoned this guy. It’s a transparently political move that ignores the fact that D’Souza admitted in court that he knew he was breaking the law, and lets prominent Trump supporters know that they can flagrantly commit crimes and expect a pardon down the line. It’s the kind of thing that the right wing media and Republicans in Congress would demand impeachment for if Obama or Clinton did it. It’s another sign that our current government is basically broken. And yet D’Souza is such a contemptible, easily mocked human being that it’s hard not to laugh at the constant and well-deserved dunkings that he’s always on the wrong end of. Here are some of the best jokes on Twitter today about D’Souza’s pardon.
dinesh d’souza proves you can be a deeply insane grifter who tries to sell depleted uranium to a couple of teens in a trench coat and as long as you go on national television and say that president grandpa has a massive hog everything will work out
— KT NELSON (@KrangTNelson) May 31, 2018
do feel kind of bad for d’souza in that he can never tell if people spitting on him in public are critics or die-hard fans who didn’t recognize him
— muscular baby (@Mobute) May 31, 2018
huge congrats to dinesh d’souza, jodi arias, and the mucinex man on their pardons!
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) May 31, 2018
I hope dinesh dsouza can find the real racists now
— erin ryan is getting serious (@morninggloria) May 31, 2018
TRUMP: Who’s the dude who made fun of the Parkland kids being shot?
ADVISER: Dinesh D’Souza, sir. Why?
TRUMP: Full pardon! He’s hilarious.— Jason Gore (@sonicdork) May 31, 2018
It gets dumber and dumber every day, like the bus in Speed except we have to maintain a certain level of stupidity https://t.co/1yVF3n59Vy
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) May 31, 2018
If the pardon ceremony means that Trump has to spend even two minutes in the same room with Dinesh he’ll try to put him back in jail
— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) May 31, 2018
Dinesh D’Souza proves what dad always taught us – “Don’t grow up to be a lying, bigoted, crypto-fascist criminal because if you do a lying, bigoted, crypto-fascist criminal might pardon you as a signal to his already indicted henchmen.”
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) May 31, 2018
Dinesh D’Souza is getting time off for racism served.
— Frank Conniff (@FrankConniff) May 31, 2018
Dinesh D’Souza is now officially a brain genius even though he got caught violating campaign finance laws to help a candidate who lost by 46 points
— Robert Wheel LLC (@BobbyBigWheel) May 31, 2018
Thank you Kim Kardashian for getting Dinesh D’Souza a full pardon!
— Comfortably Smug (@ComfortablySmug) May 31, 2018
Even deep down in Shaft #7, Pete could hear the cheers from above. When his shift ended, he took the cage to the surface and his foreman ran over to him. “Pete!” he exclaimed. “Have you heard? He pardoned Dinesh D’souza!” Smiling, Pete stepped into the sun of a glorious new day.
— Chris Regan (@ChrisRRegan) May 31, 2018
Dinesh D’Souza is a reminder that as long as you’re a huge piece of shit who slanders people & groups & spreads conspiracies & whines about being found guilty of campaign finance fraud, you can be pardoned by the worst president in history as a precedent to later pardon himself!
— Johnny McNulty (@JohnnyMcNulty) May 31, 2018
I love that Trump’s takeaway from Kim Kardashian plea for mercy for a woman given a life term for a non violent first time offense was “I’m gonna pardon Dinesh D’Souza!” https://t.co/rmC5Rm13Pw
— Jon Cryer (@MrJonCryer) May 31, 2018
Sheriff Joe and Dinesh D’Souza. Charles Manson really should have tried holding on just a bit longer.
— Comfortably Smug (@ComfortablySmug) May 31, 2018
Hopefully, Dinesh D’souza can now go back to doing what he does best: being president of a “college” that was located inside the Empire State Building.
— Chris Regan (@ChrisRRegan) May 31, 2018
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