“Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner”
A daughter brings an unexpected guest home for supper and—surprise! It’s Sidney Poitier. Her parents freak out because they are huge fans.
“Indecent Proposal”
A man had a proposal for another man: if you get me a million dollars, you can have sex with my wife, once. She is that good at sex. Even better—on a boat?!
“Goodfellas”
This is the fourth film in the “Godfather” series. Fun fact: “Goodfellas” is the way Marlon Brando pronounces “Godfather.”
“Fried Green Tomatoes”
A man gets his foot caught in the railroad tracks and dies. Either Jessica Tandy or Jessica Lange makes fried green tomatoes for the wake, which takes up the rest of the movie.
“Newsies”
A bunch of newspaper boys have to fight their evil boss who owns the newspaper. There is one hotter, older Newsy, played by Christian Slater. The Newsies sing and jump on the tables and do flips and shit. They finally beat the boss, the newspaper shuts down, and all the Newsies lose their jobs.
“Dances with Wolves”
A white man was in the Civil War but he hated it! They made him pull off his boot and there was only blood under there! He marries a Native American woman. Wolves dance at their wedding.
“Rudy”
A really little guy wants to play football, but they never let him play! Finally, the coach throws him a bone and lets him play in one game. He does fine.
“Con Air”
This movie has the same name as a hair dryer because it’s about four Southern women in a beauty shop who are just trying to make it in this crazy world!
“The Cider House Rules”
Tobey Maguire runs an abortion clinic out of an old cider house. The rules are mostly about washing your hands, because it’s still pretty grody in there.
“Flashdance”
This is either the movie about the lady blacksmith who wants to dance but isn’t allowed to, or about Kevin Bacon who wants to dance but isn’t allowed to. Either way, everyone ends up getting to dance.
“How Stella Got Her Groove Back”
Stella goes through a rough divorce—her husband’s a real cad. After it’s final, she goes on vacation by herself to Jamaica. She has sex with a younger man and feels much better.
“The Princess Diaries”
An American girl finds out that she is actually a princess, somehow. She moves to England to be royalty and she is really bad at it. Her grandma Mary Poppins is so mad.
“The Notebook”
A man’s wife has Alzheimer’s, and it’s sad. He reads to her out of this sexy romance novel. In a fun twist, it turns out it’s actually their “joint couples diary,” a thing that every couple has.
“9 to 5”
Dolly Parton plus one redhead and one brunette have a bad boss who is abusive. He touches their butts. So they brutally murder him.
Let’s block ads! (Why?)
