Affidavits may come, attorneys may go — but outfits go on forever.
Fie on klunky Korean Kim … Poo on poopy Putin … stick stinky Stormy … shove lawyer Cohen’s knowin’. And Melania versus Meghan? Please. For sure President Trump’s fashionista first lady dresses better than Prince Harry’s foreign first princess.
Mrs. DJTrump just spent four days in New York. Trump Tower. Without husband. Without son. Without family. But with wardrobe designers and collection couture.
Just watch. Getting ready for the season, she’ll outsparkle Markle.
Please try to pay attention
WPIX’s morning show through September doing live series “Zip Trips.” Each Friday a different section — like Washington Heights’ or wherever’s specialness … Dr. David Helfet, trauma surgeon who’s operated on our cops and firefighters, now NYC’s Society of Honorary Police Surgeons inaugural award recipient … Hillary’s touring Australia. Arriving at Polo Bar, Bill had just spoken to her … “Dear Evan Hansen’s” at the Music Box, which Irving Berlin built. Marking his “God Bless America” centennial, the cast will sing it at curtain … Tina Fey on her “Mean Girls” script: “It’s to mean we must stop being mean to one another.”
Gun control
Info courtesy of the NYPD: 1) Known is that anything can happen anywhere — but in the United States of America, New York is the A-No.-1 safest city. 2) Despite gun-averse NYC, there exists today 330 million guns in the hands of this country’s owners — a larger number than, per our last census, we have people.
Roast boast
A casting call’s out for Bruce Willis’ Comedy Central roast. It’ll shoot in LA. One pre-taped bit that pees on “Die Hard” is hunting an Alexander Godunov type. Requirements: “Terrorist, Male, 30-49, Caucasian, shoulder-length blonde, must have Eastern European accent.” From Bruce, who missed finishing school: “Ain’t the first time I’ll be tied to a chair and held hostage by a group of humorless a–holes for a couple hours.”
Royal wait
I told you Princess Caroline of Monaco’s daughter was marrying Dimitri Rassam. I now untell you that. Rumors rumor Charlotte Casiraghi’s pregnant and postponed the I Do’s. She has another son from a French comedian. His daughter’s from a previous relationship. His French actress mom Carole Bouquet’s other son is also via a previous relationship. They’re very busy back there. However, not busy prepping a wedding.
House arrest?
A take on Sheldon Silver was presented to me. I do not advocate. I report: He’s aged. Infirmed. Decimated financially, legally, professionally, emotionally, civically, nationally, humanly, terminally — also, after personal revelations — matrimonially. No future. No friends. Destroyed. No threat to mankind, what’s gained by jailing him? Our prisons are overpopulated. We still must pay to support his confinement.
Albany’s maxed out on the bum meter. But Silver’s already toast. Why not home internment. Eternal house arrest. Zero parole possible. Ankle bracelet forever. Ad infinitum. And it costs taxpayers nothing.
AG needed
Schneiderman was heading to be our next Gov. He and major Dem wallets thought once Cuomo packed up his scrapbooks, Eric should be on a hot roll for that job. Now rumble from our state capitol: The governor will push his own office’s lawyer guy Alphonso David — Cardozo-trained, legal professor, Cuomo adviser — to be attorney general.
Joe Piscopo to builder Anthony Rinaldi: “Send two bad guys in one good Buick to Kim Jong Ugh, and in 20 minutes our North Korea problem’s solved.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.
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