By Ellen MonganGuest Columnist
Do you remember the old song titled, “My Mama Done Told Me?“ It sports a catchy tune, a lively tempo and unforgettable words. The words say it. Every mama tells her children the instructions she believes will carry them through life. With love of a mother’s heart and the determination of a drill sergeant she often repeats these words over and over again. Her goal is to make sure the lessons are learned. This Mother’s Day, why not reflect upon the words your mama told you and why?
Repetition has been found to be the best way to teach. Instinctively built into a mother’s heart is this knowledge. Tirelessly and throughout a child’s life a mom repeats her instructions. She teaches her children everything: manners, healthy diet, character and even some fashion sense. In this way she is molding her child toward maturity.
A mother’s stories are shared and her wisdom is imparted day after day, year after year and decade after decade. Eventually these words begin to take root in her child’s heart. This is mama’s way of passing a part of herself down to her offspring; along with it she passes down a part of her heart.
Before you start mimicking what your mom told you to your children, first discern whether these words pass the test of truth, then pass them down. If you want your children to listen to your words, you must teach the right stuff. It is important work.
Mom, you are forming the next generation, form them well. Our goal as a parent should be to raise children to be healthy, mature, confident adults who can eventually stand on their own two feet, not to raise a “Mini Me.” Just as we learn by adulthood to discern what advice given by our mom to accept as our own, our children will do the same.
Later on in life do not be surprised if you have taken on some of your mama‘s words, stories, myths, maybe even mannerism and pass them down to your own children. A word or two that your mama always told you, may pop out of your mouth, when you least expect it.
Do not be alarmed if you hear your children proclaim with delight, “You’re just like your mother!” Your first reaction may be denial. You may find yourself running to the mirror to take a quick. While gazing at the mirror, you begin to question yourself, “What did I say?”
It is then, as these words pop out of your mouth, that you witness something unbelievable. In fact, to your dismay, when you look at that face in the mirror, the familiar face of your mama is looking back at you.
Shocked that the words from your own child’s mouth might be true, you take another view. Yet, you refuse to affirm their hypothesis. “Like mother, like daughter,” will not be your response, at least not now. Denial knocks on the door of your heart and you shout out loud to the mirror, “I Am Not My Mother!”
Take a pause; decide for yourself what your mama always told you and why. At that moment, angrily and without reservation you may find yourself shouting, “I am just like my mother!“
Don’t let denial, anger or rebellion be the path you choose. Instead, take a long look down memory lane. Think about the years gone by and who your mama was. Take a long look at who she is today. Think about who you have become because of her words and guidance. Now take another look in the mirror. What do you see? Do you see your mama’s eyes looking back at you with love and concern?
“I am just like my mother!” It may be a good thing after all.
Even though “actions speak louder than words,” it is those words spoken by a mother to a child in their formative years that seem to reside in their minds forever. A mother forms her child’s personality, traditions, character and viewpoints. All moms know that they were not the perfect mother. However your mother’s heart gave her the love to raise you the best she could. You will do the same.
Once grown, most people will adapt what they want from their mom and forget the rest. Not to worry, for when they get old they will miraculously remember all their mama ever told. At that time, they will remember with a tear in their eye. They will proclaim boldly and with joy, “I am just like my mother.” How do I know this? I have a mama who always told me those stories, words and wisdom I now hold dear.
As I was sharing with one of my adult children that I was writing this, I asked her, “What did I always tell you?” She looked into my senior eyes and said, with a smirk on her face, “I don’t remember you telling me a thing!” My point exactly.
“What did your mama always tell you?” I would love to hear from you.
Ellen Mongan is a Christian writer and speaker and the founder of Little Pink Dress Ministry. Email her at [email protected].
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